The sun is finally trying to make an appearance, covered in the
fragments of clouds. The cool wind
breeze, making all the big trees sway and the eerie noise it creates. It’s so peaceful
right now that I can hear the sound of air. Birds are chirping in most
delightful manner. Far from the place I am setting, is the light bulb switched
on, somebody probably forgot to switch off all the lights. There is this heart
sign chalked out by someone on the wall of a school which will soon be covered
by kids of all ages.
Love is that overrated, yeah?
And then there is dandelion revolving around the place I am
sitting, this whole thing takes me to the life I have already spent. The
School, College and University time. When I was focused, more energetic, I had
powers, I was an achiever. The confidence that grew over the time just only
made my focus more clear and I knew exactly what my goals were. I was more
connected to God. I knew who I need to ask , who I need to bend in font
of, I could see him replying to me,
guiding me, telling me the truth of life. There was this inner peace that I
think now is missing from my life.
Slowly but surely I had to step out from that life into the
practical life. ‘PRACTICAL LIFE’. Now this is the life where you are supposed
to do everything which you might not like or can even make peace with. The Life
which punches you so hard and so many times in your face but you rub it all off
and stand to fight again.
You need to earn money and work hard at the same time.
Obviously you can’t overburden you parents any more to fulfill your weird
desires. You fell in love and fell off from the cliff both are same things
actually, you get married and try to please everyone and there is this poor guy
“husband” who is different from you in many ways and you try to see all your
relations in him, then you make kids who for the rest of your life are going to
be the center of attention.
Iyaad had temperature
and all this night I kept on checking him. Was this because I was careless? I
probably not am giving him enough time. This is the life of a typical mother.
Sometimes I think of my mother. She still loves me and not
only that take cares of my son too and will keep on taking care of my future
kids too and then sometimes I ask her “
Ami what are you getting from this whole thing? Like you have a daughter who
falls on you and you are never tired. NEVER. Don’t you ever want to be FREE?
Like Free from the worries of your kids?
And she in most confident manner ever “You guys are my
life”.
No Ammi you created this life for yourself. And we all are
following the same path. We make peace with our present and that’s the only way
to live life I suppose.
Sometimes I feel there should have been a guide to this
life. A manual that I could have read before jumping into this so called
practical life.
I have also realized that humans are actually the most
unthankful creatures. Half of our
population wants kids the other half thinks what to do of them. Half of the
population wants to get married, the other half are beating the head against the
wall, half of this populations wants to earn money, the other half so perfect
that you sometimes feel they are not real
The 29 years of my life and the only conclusion I could make
out of this whole life is that connection to Allah is the only way to earn
peace. That he is controlling life. I mean sometimes I feel what exactly my
decisions were. None I suppose. He is the planner but most of the adults are
tensed and stressed out because they
have zero faith in Allah’s plan and even
then you see them preaching about trusting Allah’s plan. And that patience is
the virtue and you are rewarded when the challenges come your way and you make
it to the edge of the river abiding the laws of GOD.
