all those days watching from the windows

Winters are approaching slowly but surely.I start my day in hustle like always; always forgetting things, always taking notes. My life now a days seems to be preparing something for me ahead. Its busy but keeping me busy always. Winds started to smack me around my neck so I swapped my scarf to protect it and focus.

I walk slowly across the streets observing and making plans. For brevity sake I don’t react much. I keep it all low. But sometimes as if there is a need. As I move forwards there is something holding me back and I feel responsible as if I could have protected, could have saved, could have … is poisonous. It makes you forget that master planner works more apace than my futile imagination and whatsoever keeps my mind busy.

These days I am making peace with myself and bring forth positive outlook towards everything. I see my active bones got rusty for some very shadowy reasons. I had goals, creativity that amused me but for some odd reason I was on break. There are only few people in this world who can understand you even without asking much, just looking deep into your eyes. There are few magicians in this world they don’t hold you tight they let you go freely. But I felt boundaries across me and have temptation to be at another side. I wanted to be safe but I couldn't save much. Its not that i lost something but I didn't gain wisdom to fight well.

I am taking in positive energies. We have got one life how can we spend it without any achievement whether it is winning someone’s heart, effective career or social work.

I thought of deleting my Blog but this can be a for no reason step for me. May be I don’t need to broadcast my thoughts any more and break all connection that may lead to abrasion.

I am just trying to take participation rather than to be a spectator.

I was listening to tangled ‘All those days’. My love for this cannot go down J

It depicts part of my personality not fairy tales but looking beyond walls. Though I would like to land back where I wanted to or where I belong to.  

What is keeping you busy these days, Have you gone through similar state? 

Photographs

Photograph is the most acceptable and unnatural way of capturing moments. For those who don’t rely on their brain for long or those who want to have evidence and make it testimony of the event for later, or those who don’t have photographic memory.  Sometimes I find them surreal as if picture painted in front of your eyes where you want to find your own character and always like to brush something missing with your own stroke. Now they have tools for it.

Photographs remind me of the class in fact classification of people.  Like a family of three from old times: a husband wife and a kid, all set like a poll not even slight flutter of eyes , almost stopping to breath hence almost looking like victim of oppression. Then this oppression slightly got loosened up a bit. Now they will stand with their hands wrapped up in utmost respect talking about the genre they belong too.

When I compare photos of now with then I feel there is a sky-earth difference between the two. Now it seems people are controlling their lives. Smiling which at times looks unreal but attractive. But a person of that age keeps a very eloquent eye guessing real over unnatural.

I also asked him to take a picture. Firstly I stood there like a robot, he asked me to smile.

I questioned myself if smile essential for a photo to look nice. I heard him saying it gives you multitude of chances and memories to cherish .Confused by his response I curved a bit right but far cry from a heartily smile; it makes me look bad.

Then he ran towards where I stood at a distance with the sun rays shining directly upon him, almost making his face go invisible and blade like rays or oasis of his emotions, enhancing  untold mysteries and stories on his face.

But he maintained a smile very jovial as if he is there where he is meant to be. While I moved a bit more to see what it holds behind bars I heard a click!!!

I thought a real moment was captured then.

I am listening to payphone by maroon5 for some very odd reason. My headphones are sticking to my ears for this one.

Time Is Now

Somebody told me that I am inclined towards pessimism. Very opposite to what I hear from most of the people but it never hurts. In fact a lot of things now pass by me like seasons, like the old leaves making their last visit to crumbs and then towards heaven. As I see them swept down by a man ruthlessly I wonder how futuristic I have been:’ Thinking about tomorrow’.

Thinking about tomorrow isn’t a bad idea as long as you know you have bindings and strings that leads to past and present but this is how we are raised; when in school - think about college, in college think about high schools and list goes on higher trend.  In this course of events I somehow couldn’t keep track of my present. No matter how bold words are written on the cardboard ‘THE TIME IS NOW’. It didn’t affect me at all.

It seems I am on a mission of whose boundary I lost track of. All of passion has bent and drooped down by immense thinking process of which I am unfortunately a habitat.

But may be trend would change now. Like many other things that changes with time, like every new season brings about new vents. At times narrower makes your breathing difficult, at times lifelike butterflies fluttering here and there in both beauty and gay. Making everything look subtle even flaws on cheeks that make it look reddish but oozing happiness.

Season is more powerful than any preparations so I am learning the inline message here. I don’t have under the belt experience but when it comes, it never asks for preparations, shakes you with whatever is written in the destiny.

I always cared about tomorrow without assimilating what I am missing before that. But seasons makes me wonder what if tomorrow never comes…What if!!!

So make best out of what you have, of what you are surrounded by, of love and emotions, of joys and tears.Rhetoric but make sense.

I did realize that I completed 100 posts. Knowing my consistency I deem it as an achievement. So I would definitely try and write something special. This blog has many strings towards many events and memories I hold both dear and close. Let see what this season brings. I do hope all whosoever visited here, visiting now and will visit are having good time of their lives.

Take care =]