On My BiRt H DaY... I just turned 20 OR something !!!

To my dear self,

Something in the air, closer to heart, whisper in my ear

Coming ahead is the journey of an endless fear...

But today is the essence and beauty of a life

Replicating each droplet, falling on my side.

Days are days,

Time oodles of moments are the companion of the year

Gearing up to make, a beautiful sight on the brink, oh my dear!

Shun all the odds, get rid of your blear

Bent on your knees, because the time is near.

If after reading this post you fell into this conclusion that I am obsessed of my being, I won’t have any words to defend that.  Because at times, loving yourself is the key essence to understand who you are.

For people who already know me; must be aware of my unusual excitement on my birthday but it has decreased to an ounce every passing year. Yesterday I had a beautiful picture of my child hood and I kind of rejuvenate them on every 26 Feb. They say, we see what we seek and at times, these contemplations are so true.

Like a girl whose length would hardly reach my knee, was hoping as I had a glaze. She did snatch my eye and we had an endless competition. She lost it by grabbing hand of his father and jumping on the slender side of the brick and trying to walk on single foot as if proudly leaving the competition. She looked so satisfied.

I smiled and casted off myself into a beautiful past. Is this true that when we look back we hardly hold any haunches or enmity. That holds true only when you are standing in a secure position or may be it’s your mind playing the unusual trick and bringing up the ‘unknown’ to you.

I can’t say much about faith but as a kid, spiritually you are complete. I am fortunate enough to place my hand on beautiful reads, I was a reader and an observer and I wanted to pour down my accumulated stuff so I stepped in, to become a writer. Starting off with the reads, I read Quran with translation when I am sure; I hardly could understand it by living point of view. Few things that we all have learnt by heart still stayed with me as well. Prayers, patience, giving alms, help others, and feel for others, though Quran is much more about than that as well. So my nature says if things are not going accordingly, pray harder.

‘Prayers’ I have a faith can turn everything on your side or powerful ones can bring good things at your side. I remember when first time I had to take rickshaw alone at my own, I was fidget and completely exasperated so I started to make choices: look for a person who seems to be a decent looking. So I finally ended up on an uncle who on that 10 min distance said ‘I know English, my kid is studying in university’ and another ‘I am an electrician and trying to make my both end meets,can you do something for my job?’.

I first time opened my eyes into the world of fears, uncertainty and hopes.

Look around, your judgments seem so benign in this bewildering nature and its people, same goes to each one of us by someone of us!

An observation of my life whenever I was hurt and I cried and a cherry on top, I prayed. My prayers were answered. I felt Allah so close that now at times I believe I lost it. Growing up is difficult and loving myself helps me in identifying him in everything.

I love colors and therefore colorful dresses he managed it for me, even when I was a student and hardly focused on these things. I wanted to enter into the world of professionalism; he kept me sane. I asked for protective shell, he bestowed me one. Whenever I felt, life going to be end soon; he opened glaring doors for me that kept me away from all obstruction temporarily and later on I persisted.

When I felt alone and disappointed, I actually felt him responding in a mesmerizing way. I truly loved him. For only few things in this world can teach me what ‘love’ actually means.I still believe love happens for once rest is the elicitation : he created my parents and I really want to quote one story out of many.

My father was a self made person; in fact he led a tough life. Once at office he wanted to eat something at restaurant but he never did. While we asked him ‘why’?  He said’ I could see you 4 at every morsel so decided to bring it at home or not to eat at all.

We make mistakes, we get up , we feel disgusting about our own behavior at times but he says he forgives human; so why not to pray now than to make it a stigma forever.

I want to thank you all my friends for taking out your precious times and making extra effort to be with me, make merry with me on my birth day , gauging my odds and evens and react accordingly =)

I want to thank each and every person who ever happened to appear in my life by adding little or more to my life story which is still In making.

I want to thank my parents, siblings for making me human, humane and one of a people. I know people are just people and I am glad to become one.

On one of my birthday, there was a strike call and everything was closed. Still me and bunch of my friends ran towards one of the hotel, while we stepped out of our university bus ,an old age person who thought we were laughing at his cap came to us and caught our attention.

He narrated a poem and asked us to repeat those verses. And with our facial expression, he passed a comment on each of us. Since he was an aged person that was highly expected.

While he was leaving he said something we all remember even now

‘When ever you get a chance: Go and visit any institute or a hospital. Get a glass of water and share it with the patients, you will achieve life time happiness ’

‘shikwae zulmat-e-shab se tu kahin behtar tha
apnay hissay ki koi shamma jalatay jatay ’

Write your life’s story. Because it’s astute, different and brilliant.

I wish you all endless happiness and a beautiful life.

May Allah bless us all!

but Happy Birthday to only ME!!!

From my oneself =)