Love At First Sight

 'its one of my old write-up and just to bring myself back to my old routine i am posting it here'

It was one cold winter evening!

And all I could hear was some niggling tickle and about order breaking stochasticity, sadness prevailed; and the kind of sadness you like to bump yet as if to live fortnights in it.

You like to move like a nomad and at the very other moment escaping so many eyes, drenching yourself in somewhat a snug a perfect hideout.

It is one of those seasons that never explains yet explains everything bespoken between you and me.

My eyes complaint your eyes competing, you and me in gist of an instant, your eyes explain mine still complain and they keep complaining till my existence felt belittle, from a man I became a no man.

In a rush of moment I looked again, this time I gazed and litigate I fell drowning in it; I drowned till I was completely drowned.

Your eyes are the preservation of my long years of past, every time I happen to catch a look I live eternity.Deep down inside; flows a turbulence of thoughts and swaying trees; hugging around, moving here and there, reminisce of past, cherishing imagery, blowing flowers, colors and fragrance all manipulative and divine, epitomizing sense of beauty that only my eyes behold.And here I am I deliberately to quench the very desire and the rest disappears while you open the thresholds of heavens and the deepened sea you hold within you, interminable heuristics then it becomes.

Your eyes are the dream I longed for, and the trotted steps I took near the sea, and the long walks alone, and that bang on the pebbles that were placed aside; thrown one by one; just to see if you can come out of your deity; to shut your eyes when wave surpass and when you open; things are serene; like the flocks of birds; moving along; to show reverence and love for your ilk.

My mind is the victim and heart a pattern of both justice within injustice, I swaggered and stumbled to take accorded lead but you were the lead and you were the mislead.

Deluded I moved to grasp more of your eye but went away from the sight of your eye and when I was awakened, saw the picturesque of your expressions and thousands of expressions and only expressions you hide within the sea; you enshrouded in mystery.

Just to ensure I am the guardian of the sea, and will take care of even the drop ever splashed out and dropped by ,with all my reverence and love and if time ever allowed with my life too.

"When Confessions Come Around, My Love Disappears"

I am normal. I lead a normal life so far and now when it couldn’t have gone anywhere else; I am living in negation.

It was one cool January morning with my hopes high and ambitions arousing the inner self somewhere at the top of everything. As I was walking, with cool breeze almost steadily passing through my ear and a leaf which is slightly brownish in color as if declared old by its family, broke contact and flew passed my eye as if fondled me! Why couldn’t have I felt something in air? A conspiracy. Suddenly it was me and a jolt and after that an endless fey.

My life is now surreal; I confess that I felt a bustled as I stood by the place, looked backward to see you; but saw a bunch with random voices.No one was you!

I liked the way you moved my life but hey will you appear hearty and upstanding ever?

That whole day I was acutely busy but every time something knocked my head and my heart moved somewhere else. Now my heart and head isn’t in my control and my fallacy goes like that I will take care of my head, will you rule my heart?, its in illusion.

When I slept smoking away all the worries of life that night, and was thinking of you that suddenly a ray of light made me galloped towards the mobile; I just thought it was you because my hypothesis says you have an ability to illuminate pitch dark to glow but I got someone anonymous quoting

‘Your Love is just near, handle it or drive away’.

You and I were sitting at the top edge of the mountain stealing the eyes of many; we could have had a look at whole civilization and me? Well my world, my globe just moves around you. I was posing, streaming things in mind to make a camouflage of words and portray in your presence your highness! But my words are suspended by your sunshine coming out of your hair and the twinkling light ring you had in your hand, how can I forgot those silky hair moving decently keeping discipline and assuredness. When I started to tell you that ‘when you smile, heaven seems few miles away’ and then suddenly you smiled meanwhile ‘I’ trying to gaze at complete curve of your lip, had to stood up by this morning alarm! Arghh...I hate it!

That morning when I drove a car, I saw many leaves coming under the tire, grossly grinded by this strong gust of my thought process and then I started to talk out loud:

‘You will come in your true composition, blind folding me by placing your hand right above my eyes; if I guessed you, you are mine, if you guessed me I am yours ’

And when next time a shadow passed by me; choked my heart, where my head played hoax; made me moved backward, and when I was to confess, my love disappeared.

Next time I won’t leave any fallacy till then give me an assurance that you will keep shining and assorting me with the fraction of your sunshine. For I would have loved to live that way to keep you secure from everyone but I am afraid, my hypothesis will make you go away one day.

Beauty that Fades Away ...

It's 19th of december and i happened to recieve a call from one of my far far living uncle.
He is on the other side of the phone and i as usual after having long debate of why i love pakistan and why i want to stay here(ill keep this topic for my up comming post), passed on the call to my ammi(my mother) who is next in queue to let her ear drum struck a bit .

As usual i wasnt taking interest about the discussion nor i was interested to know who is doing what in family but one statement indefnitely took my interest .

My mother said, 'Sab kuch reh jata, khubsurati khatam hu jati hai '
Translation : Everything stays except Beauty .

And with a sigh! She looked at her hands, those hands who worked  24 hours for me and were the most secure place in the whole wide world. I so very wanted to run towards her and after giving a warm hug; wanted to tell her that her beauty is still alive and will never fade away.

As far as i can see of my mother in my past- is the women with long curly hair that I so very wanted to inherit and all my young years i used to believe that my straight hair will get a twist one day as quick as i am gonna grow up but it never happened .

She had beauitful hands and a good height with pleasing personality as you can expect a kashmiri woman to be and now when this statement haunts me that beauty fades away;  makes me realise about so many things .

Once my khala was looking for a girl, for some of her relative and her only requirenment was that the girl should be fair and beautiful endless.Today i was wondering if beauty is as important as character and good name is? If beauty actually comes from inside or is just about how you maintain yourself.

I know this is a long debate between beauty and brains and sometimes beauty and character but people who we love appear to be beautiful in every design and every pattern so much that when we look at them even in smog;  they are the most vibrant and burnished. They rule!.

And if finally you have to choose, which one would you pick ?