Language of Expressions

You turned everything the way you thought was better; and I entrusted you with all my head and heart.  Even if that was a game I played with my eyes closed; trusting on first vibe that hit my mind or picking the chit that was just between you and me.

In my childhood you were an inch away; now there are some clouds and more gushes of wind or smoke that fills the air. Where did I lose you; where did I stumbled on way or broke the bricks that built my heart where I pursued you?

There are illusions and realities that hit me on blindside or early morning alone I thought I suddenly am missing you.  But ‘hope’ that constitutes the pillar of all weaknesses or substitute the faith to be on par.

You were there when world twitched a bit but I was away when flying without fear.

Today I realized what I am missing so I gave you my hand; with my head nodded; I decide to walk right behind you. There is no question or reason than to tell you that if degrees starts from 0 to 10 where 0 is life and love is higher on scale then there is no way to get it wrong you always mark the start or the  end.

Dear god, thanks for giving us everything; there is too much to say; too  much to quote; way too much to remember  but we have learnt the language of expressions that our tongue doesn’t speak ; they are whispered straight  through the heart and pass secured as they go towards you.

 Catch you soon guys

Take Care =)

' No Life Is Without Its Deal Of Pain '

Who am I? A question stung me quite a lot of times before and even after reaching conclusion my spirits wander across the surface. Reaching a point where definitions are strong but dimensions deviate.

Thinking about a life that passed just right in front of my eyes is like waiting for a train to come at stop to accommodate passengers in it ;  you hear its voice coming towards you  ; but it whooshes away and then across you. Without even stopping; it passes by you with a chilled steam fuming away marking a sign of good bye.

Getting a chance to see many facets of human personality rising up and down gives me an outlook of making assumptions if not understanding reality.

Mediocre life is a complete amalgamation of keeping up your standards and making yourself better in the hindsight. You would never know about it till you exercise it .

 Till my college and university life I used to think about myself as a very independent person who did everything by her own will and with her own hands. I used to work hard; the competition I always felt with my fellows was just like a game I used to play with the swords ; swirling to make my way towards my final destination.

With this aptitude let me clear one thing that I relied this competitive streak upon my prayers and spirituality that I was very strong with. What disturbed me the most, as I grew up was a feeling that I was fairly drifted away with the principles and religion I used to hold myself strong on , but our god is fair in his dealings too if you tend to go towards him one step he returns it in a much better way.

As I grew up and having lost one of my parents I realized many things; many short comings insecurities flew right in front of my eyes. However I will boundary lines this post with this statement that whatever I am today has a fair deal of parents; environment they tried to keep me in and standards they asked me to follow. Sometimes I am on the way but at the same time I may dwell in a wrong lane.

My father had a tough life as he migrated from Kashmir to Lahore to earn bread and butter and he on his shoulder had a burden to pave way for his whole family including many brothers.

Most magical thing in a relationship is that you sacrifice and nobody would ever know that you did; only time unveils it in front of your eyes and you realize the worth of a person.

Let it be a lover relation or a parent – children relation or anything else. That’s  what I learnt : is to hold on to those tender strings strongly and  never let go of them ; they  bind our heart naturally very strong and with malice if it grows inside ; is like fungus or termite which erases every complexity of holding it dear and makes it a very common thing which it ultimately is not.

If I start talking about his life I need pages to fill in but what tempted me to write was an image.

Having to live a tough life and bringing something back on the daily basis to feed us ; at that point and time we will wait for clock to struck 8 and we daughters and sons will hang around the fence to have a glimpse of him and to see what he is bringing for us. He would never point out our greedy self in fact laugh at our requirements to be fulfilled every day. Isn’t this very cute?

He was taking back in his hand; a bag full of hope…

He wished to start it better every day and end it in calm …

Bu know body would ever know what he had in his heart

Silence, unfathomable ocean of thoughts but he kept peace with himself

For how difficult it was to store it all inside and for whom?

Silently he will open his arm to embrace young lads

And all his tiredness will flew away just like that …

From heart to heart they will share tenderness and warmth

He will pass a smile and she will rub her arms

With this perpetual motion nights befalls

He will sleep between care and fear inside qualms

Happy week days ahead guys, by the way how was your weekend? I enjoyed very much sometimes solitude, sometimes hanging around with family. It was a long weekend and tomorrow seems a tough ride.

O' i would like to quote it here " No life is without its fair deal of pain so be thankful of what you have, what you enjoy and what you do - Remember there is someone watching over you "  

Later then.

Mishi I am trying to keep my promise and to write about myself more. Guess what it might take time to shorten this and be subjective =))

Take Care.

~ We Live Under the Same Sky ~

It was a bit foggy day and equally mystical night; a radio was tuned in a slightly lighter tone.

The guy hosting  the show was reading some famous poetry and talking about a world that seems really fragile; very tenderly as he was speaking about intricacies of life that I don’t know in which phase matters, Or when they make their appearance.

As a child our definitions are quite clear.  Everything is crystal clear as you look back then; with the eyes erected on heart but in late age canvas of life completely changes.

There is no adequate meaning or definitions and hence you play with this gratitude that few things might be placed well with the hit and trial we practice in our life.

Naturally chilly weather was seeping into my body through my bones and there was a time I felt helpless. Going on a walk and too lazy for the dinner; I decided to place my rugs right in front of a fire place looking at flames featuring aggression that my body was unable to show.

Thinking about promises I made back home. Leaving those eyes in pain and discomfort.
Thinking about times where I went wrong. Holding a lot of baggage in my chest. Sometimes words are not enough; sometimes they seize to flow, Sometimes you don’t know where to go but in the end what matters is the extra special care of heart; no matter whose heart it is.

I remember the question being asked time and again:  what is that ‘something’ more precious to you. Regardless of the fact what materials and feelings might be on the other side ; all I could thought of was a heart ‘ heart of gold’ this is what everyone has; every normal being until they go psycho but question to ask is who supports you if you ever been in such situation.

That’s how I ran away from things; that’s why I feel weakness in my bones.

Living under the same sky with different shades of the day made me cross millions of miles. Hiding away from you was not easy nor seeing you cry was but we as human go really selfish; instantly we start prioritizing things and sometimes it’s totally wrong in order. 

I don’t know if I will ever be with you again but one thing is for sure; in my heart I spaced you and many valuable people precisely. They can’t be overlapped, not be hidden or come under weight.

It’s that strong connection that will be ringing as soon as I will hear your name or when you whisper a thought about me in your old age or now.

The passion for you won’t be taken or ever shaken. Love can scarcely be found in happiness; it’s a strong friendship. Love can’t be found in distress they are mere hurtful emotions, sometimes mindless.

Love is found in your smile; in your eyes; taking care of your heart; being your back; reaching spiritual heights; finding you easily in the huge crowd; on the path over the road facing hardships but still giving each other hand and support to move on; drenched in rain hiding you under the cover right below the clouds; chasing the big sky and equally un measured life.

Happy weekend guys =)

Take Care of others heart because God lives in there.

**Yayyy holidays **

Phase Shift --->

Our world is magical so is our love

So is our hatred so is our hope ….

Everything that put me in gush

Run adrenaline rush  

Fills my heart with enormous words

Run through my eyes is your solicitor self

How you told me run for yourself

My feet might swore when hope deters

But look what I have for my better

Lots of love, hope and peace

Sometimes I just sway as if this world is in my realm

Tonight is a good night, with my hands held tight on a mug of melted chocolate, cold coffee with a scope of ice cream giving a perfect ending to my day before next week starts.

Also this day was different because I shopped a bit alone in resentment and out of my angry self against my sister who didn’t show up for me. This one thing makes me quite angry if people who you are dependent upon turn their back for a little or better reason. Anyways this whole fight was for shopping. This week interestingly I had nothing to share even though I wanted a lot of things to be penned down but didn’t get a chance to be on my laptop. Oh! It is quite beautiful to use my old laptop again after a long time. It’s like cherishing my passion and dream for buying it. This is the first thing that I bought from my first pay two years back ; so I hold it quite dear =)

 For a lot of people who know me; they know I hold this passion for certain things and when I do then I madly run after them and then maybe then I will take a sigh of relief.

Thought of today was an old age. Today I saw my mother sighing at twitching of her muscle. I saw her moving rather budging quite slowly towards the room.  I saw her sleeping a bit more than usual hours. Instantly being very touchy and being apologetic on wrong statements made or wrong question asked or if we thought she asked this thing a few hours ago. Being in this situation; made me realize my duties towards her; this phase shift of her personality is something to deal with.
For people who we always paint so perfect, who know us inside out, whose love is our heart whisking in throughout-- is just a jerk to be taken.

For you Ammi:

Your love is a shadow on the wall and for enormous times I just pushed myself hard to fit in the map; to fill in the pattern but I realized there are a lot for things to be learned; to be earned; to be one who is centre of attention in our home and in our heart.  Wrinkles on your hand and forehead narrate hundred of stories and I never forget how much I need to be thankful to our creator. I know this phase shift is evident and cant be controlled but I just wanted to make sure that with you;  we are without you; we wither.

Needless to say; take care of your parents; hold their hand while crossing road ; bring yourself upfront so that sun rays may never pinch their skin for this is what they had been doing all their life.

If you have happened to lose one of your parent or both; pray for them. There is nothing in this world more effective than a prayer murmured from the deep valleys echoing through heart.

Take Care guys

Happy work days ahead!

 =)

Sweet dreams; dreams are important they have fringes of tomorrow ...

~ Serenity ~

Finally I am settling in new house. Finally mornings are not so much Unknown and evening so alien. 

Finally I am watching ahead of being in state where I was counting minutes and sometimes seconds to cross this barrier. Now it’s time to look ahead, buy new things, start work afresh, paint new walls of wishes and imaginations.

And stay amused about time … that always proves me wrong; never stops for grim situation to let it be subsided, grab your hand and keep moving on.

Sometime gives you support to pull you up when you are hanging down the hill. Sometime laughs and sneers; drops you down and then you hit another ground but still survive.

 I really want some ‘time’ off … I feel tired after work and also it seems my whole day is being ruined by thoughts of this and that.

I miss peace of mind that comes with an accomplishment; it comes to me that I need to work for something else as well rather sitting in front of computer all day long.

So I want to be in a sail boat with water flowing around me

And for a moment it may happen;

A realization that earth and sky doesn’t exist

For some uncountable moments I will… I will feel life around me

And rhythm…the twinkle of serenity may flourish in amidst

I will broke down in pieces and sporadically overwhelm the air

With some of it glowing… some floating in river

And a part of me may fly with flocks of bird in air

In a rush less gear, without any fear

I will turn and twist and move in the space

And I might feel life…. life in myself

So you come down to me as a shadow in abyssal

and for a moment we will find in ourselves

end of  words 

end of expressions 

end of antonyms and similar indulgence

just gazing into each other eyes and remembrance

talking about the life

talking about the serenity

talking about the peace we lost in interim 

talking about the love we missed in frivolity

and we will hold hands and open the arms 

the last voyage and on sail we will end this calm....

Happy Weekend Guys . See you soon again. Gotta read few friends here as well ... so my wish for this weekend is that Sunday may pass so slowly as if minutes are hills to be climbed in a day.


O btw my lost love came to me after so many years ... the craziness of listening to it  on instrumentals and feeling words when i was even younger :P ... its like a wish to write such lyrics myself .Enjoy

Everytime I see you, well the rays of the sun are all
Streaming through the waves in your hair

And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes 

Like a spotlight 

The beating of my heart is a drum and its lost
And its looking for a rhythm like you

You can take the darkness from the deep of the night
And turn it to a beacon burning endlessly bright

I gotta follow it cause everything I know
Well, its nothing till I give it to you

Song :~ Making love out of nothing at all ~

Stand By Me >< !!!

And if the darkness pulls me down, will you understand my roots are shattered,

Or if my tongue gets soured will you understand I have been bitten hard.

And the light that buzz around---Will you open room of divinity or perforate the mystery box and share the glee of symmetry

 But will you understand when weather gets colder and rain does shower; I have this urge to fly and when I l get colder will you provide enough warmth or ply

This mountainous rock that we see; that seems many miles away; I know we got to be there … so if I stumble my way will you guide towards it

Will you not pull my wrist tighter and walk just right beside me and if I start looking for other details will you jollify it

And when I get feeble enough and the charming beauty is also gone; will you still trespass and stop and write hundred words of my divinity

It has been a long, long walk and waiting for something unknown and fighting for oneself and be luck or lucky for the swollen soul or the support or may be an ailment or may be a healer but this way was a little too forlorn

so darling darling darling will you stand by, stand by me forever

 

In search of the Lost Soul

In the search of the lost soul …
Those feet that bled and bruises that shred,
something that was residing inside me

And constantly it knelt my fears and frets
But arose one spirit that confines me

The spirit that binds my love eventually grows
And love that holds idea behind me

In the desert that are barrens and dry grains of sand
I ran towards a shadow that broke and part the land

One is quenching, one leaves the tempt
And leaves me clueless which one to  lend

But in search of lost soul one must walk
If trotted steps taken or jumping from the dark

If gravity pulls you back or earth throws you pole to pole
Steps must be taken to find the lost soul

to see unwritten 
to wipe off the dirt 
to reach destination 
to engulf all the faith 
to breath in felicitation
to live in the love 
and love without inhibitions.


"Tere ishq mein jo bhi doob giya usay duniya ki lehrun se darna kia "
Whosoever drowned in your love; has no fear of living in this world


After listening to this soulful music time and again; i feel spiritually high 
where fears are tantrums thrown at us and living in this world a try. 


Hope to come up very soon with a story; i am missing story writing a lot=))
take care.

Eid Mubarak !!!

My Dear Friends,

Your presence in the present is really exhorting.

Using this space is just like talking to bunch of reliable and sane people who draw millions of designs and paint with the color of red; stroked with tranquility and wisdom.

We by the grace of Allah have completed this one month which could purify us and just to exalt His blessings upon us ; we are going to celebrate Eid tomorrow and thank him for his benevolence.

A very happy Eid to all of you. And special thanks to uncle jack who in this cosmos world where nobody cares for sending greeting cards anymore ; sent a most composed and well designed e –card . I am so touched. and I had a 32 teeth smile on my face =)) Thanks to you.

Also on 1^st September my father passed away from this world 5 years ago. Eid I mostly remember is getting up tomorrow; a well surrounded compassionate hug by him and also Eidi =D.

With all those beautiful memories afresh; InshAllah; I am going to celebrate my EID.

Allah has different ways of treating you like a little lad so I get a lot of love and care from people around me. 

Do recite a prayer for him and have a wonderful day =))

Do share your amazing stories of celebrations on this happy occasion.

I thought I could share something beautiful but got no time to do so; my few lines

Dear God!

Stay in my heart and leave me when

Skies broke the connection of strange mystery

Mist of hope and gist of history …

Love stays enchanted and enmity falls behind

And for one moment I felt myself sublimed

In the desert of malice; in the room of remand

I ran towards you to be gathered in your arms

And when there was no hope and no love to be savored

You had a strange way of swiping it to be waivered

Abysmal of thoughts and fear in this facet

I feel loved and love to be enormous asset.

-- Last Word --

It was an instantaneous reaction of the smoke filled clouds moving and capturing glimpse of lightly glowing moon. So I had my eyes erected straight where they go. I feel dizzy I admit; and upper half of my head is convincingly forcing me not to see ahead but what’s hidden in it is mildly meaningful. An ordeal.

 Finding pieces of you in dearth is something I enjoyed doing most of the time. So from interdependence I became dependent completely or partially don’t matter. I see hope in you; find lost faces in yours. And the time we collide I lose your wholesome in air or in the rush where I push people here and there to find you. So today is the last attempt to remove my inhibition. To feel this hope spreading through my veins.

Equation is very simple you had a genuine and an intriguing way to tell what reality is but my dear if it was an ocean of stars flowing one way; I would have converted whole regime. Picked one by one everything coming on my way and reverted it all on the other way just because I wanted you to feel it variedly every time and develop more logics till you had uncovered all the mysteries. But what I learnt in those years is priceless. 

Today I feel weak and my hair turned gray and also I realized that all my fallacies weren’t true as well…

But the sense of loss is no more there. It is converted into fragment pieces; something I enjoyed the most in hour where sadness supersedes. And when I am able to smile again I wrap them up and put them in the most beautiful area of the house I call home. Time never did us a part nor any conspiracy; it’s a mild sensation to make my life a little more happening with all pain and pleasures I got in this whole battle we fought and proudly declare as life.

Imagine what it would be if there was nothing to look forward to; no emotional fluctuations, no distress... how I had realized those feelings that human heart ever go through.

It ultimately made me more humane and emphatically sane.

In the gush of wind i smile aloud; In the dusty dry land i wipe my tears ...

So my last word to you is that this life it wasn’t possible --- next life there is still a hope. 

~ I Am In Love With Her Fairy Tales ~

Lying beneath the wide spread sky and watching all stars capturing glimpse of my life spent both with beauty and nostalgia bring about the distance that I travel between being with you and being alone.

If I was the morning sky, she brought freshness and all exertion of the day fell down my skin in dew drops that she used to flick my face with.

If I was the victim of suffocation in worldly matters; she was the cool breeze giving a perfect escape by muttering about things that I kept wondering in her presence; those imaginary areas we travelled together and almost flying in air with arms wide open taking all the serenity and silent presence of I-don’t-know what but it was there; something that belongs to her magical world only but surely.

It was then I tossed her a companionship of life and time beyond our comprehension and she tossed me back things that she whips with her smile and they melt glaciers and peace the exuberant rivers.

But time flips within the luck lines marked in our hand. Glaciers they do melt but not with the heat of affection but with pronouncing weaknesses we develop with the time. Life is at rest but not with the beauty of her fairy land talks but with the harsh realities of life that nip down our happiness with some ugly events.

I realized how quickly I came out of her colorful world; not only made myself a somber inside- outide contended man but also made her look quite fidget most of the time. It was then I thought her radiant smile has gone away and I blamed time and when clueless accused her of losing charms.

How quickly I wrapped up things half heartedly that ultimately resulted in arguments every second of the day. I started feeling tired and fell down asleep quite quickly because love withered or hid in the closet or lost in the humidity.

Suddenly I realized she is sitting beside me asking question in her typical docile style and with blinking big eyes. “Could you marry someone else, once I am not alive?”

I laughed --- I laughed because I was addicted to her fairy tales too. I realized what I was missing so I started telling her a real time story: “Listen! I know we went through a hard time. But remember all the good times we catered climbing up the hill. I may not remain the same but inside my heart there lives a space that knows your language well. Sometimes it is not as glittering as it should be. Sometimes it’s just not easily comprehendible but …”

I realized she wasn’t taking interest in my real time story and she was gazing with her big eyes even yet. I sat their motionless and to break the ultimate silence I said:

 “Imagine a world where a guy and a girl cross the land of beauty and joy together and something prick her foot quite badly and it started bleeding … Guy had to leave that place for a while to find best emergency remedy”.

She moved her hair a little from the forehead and smiled. A smile that is famous to bring charm back to the valley of tired looking people.

First morning ray removed the overwhelming darkness and then I realized, I passed this whole night dreaming with my eyes wide open, looking at starts knitting a fairy tale.

Lost love is here but my darling is away.

~ With Love From Me to You ~

It wasn’t our first rain together, nor was the last one; we hoped. Its just a new sensation abridging our freedom of expression. 

It was a long… long - longing to have it, to hear that some clouds took passage through my city.
I was yearning to feel every droplet falling on my body and mesmerizing my soul. It comes with coolness of mind and strange affiliation with the past.

Remembering every ordeal occurring right out there … there did you see? Where the lightning overlay…exactly there. 

When the lightning flashes, it blossoms forth all the hidden objects, it unfolds a chapter of my heart so clearly, right out there where the lightning overlay. 

Here I was trying to act like a teenager, covering my petite appearance in the shawl made up of threads and diamantes over the border. 

There exactly there! I was jumping like a manic in water, assembled over the ground and I roughly started hoping with joy to engulf my extreme excitement. And sometimes i will sit on the damp stairs placing my feet over the ground to see drizzle rubbing them off peacefully, also a new pond in making . 

There at the top roof of the other house, walks a girl who was crying … crying in the rain, memories helped wiping off her tears. And I had my eyes, searching for her, measuring her moments so very carefully as if I will bat my eyelash; I will lose the game and will be stoned forever.

Suddenly a voice choked down this stargazer and I am sitting over the bench with her.  Her body language seems different this time as if she had to say a lot, as if those babbles were not just only driblets, they were the desires, passions, apprehensions, thinking and truth that I disliked the most, that one day I will leave her, this real peace of mind and this solitary me; sometimes confining myself to her to be taken care of, not to be sabotaged, giving a new look and fresh me, back to me.

She was my mother as she happened to sit with me to the right, I  felt something missing on my left.

She has a unique way to transcript her emotions. She makes you feel young in no time and cast you off her tribe that soon. I could look at her hands, the hardest look may be, the softest touch ever. When I try to place my hand to catch up with her finger tips, she smiles and sneers ‘You are not on me’. She will praise herself first and then all her projection will be towards my father that ‘he was really handsome ’.

And then she tells all the stories, she is a perfect story teller. My elbow touched hers many times as if escorting all the illness,oscillating for few moments and reassurance and that we love each other clueless. 

Without thinking about anything I seek her help, to look after me, know me more every day, and pacify me, my courage. And interestingly she never disappoints. 

We had a long lasting discussion. That’s how we socked our backs completely in rain , it was then we realized it was raining like cats and dogs.

This is my humble prayer for all mothers out there living or living peaceful forever, to have a beautiful sojourn here in this unpredictable world and have a most blissful eternal life there. Where someday, all of us will catch up with each other, sooner or later.

May Allah give them peace and put them in ease with all the tough occurrence of life. 

Your smile or memory made hugely pressurized days like chewing a chewing gum. Your presence is a peaceful sea facilitating everyone, your memories is the gush of air making us breathe.

Tujhey sab hai pata haina MAA!

  

The Last Dialogue

September 1992:

She was wearing pink that day and weather was extremely hazy. Mist turned into sweat, and sweat that unusually took passage through the palm, hanging through the forehead and feet rocking on a very exciting beat. 

My start system was extremely excited and as I passed through the conventional places, something mitigating in the air, thinking about all the clauses for a perfect balanced equation. What to say, what not to say, I want no jitters, have to control this smile and the line I see exactly from this length should be the culmination point .After that I have to act reasonable, calm and composed.

So same thing happened exactly in the opposite direction: I rushed towards her, even took jumps and kick pebbles over the road, untainted smile, I could even feel my jaw bone stretched to the limits and I absolutely forgot what to say as she came into the scene with the most auspicious smile, walking as if each small distance is accurately measured, a bit shyness and.. And a mild thundering, nature’s conspiracy to make her feel confident.

July 1998:

Today is a similar day, winds are gushing, corroding the very taste of sweetness I ever had, itching, passing almost lifeless hand through the hair, just to feel body and body with a soul. I am not really sure if soul is here, she took it years back while then I assumed she took over it. 

Ahhh… my feet are numb as if, I was the one left over soldier in the aggressively covered White Mountains and my body negates every proportion of myself proceeding forward.

Going back is my choice but moving ahead is my dire need. She appeared again from the crowd in dejection, possibly mere abhor she holds against the world.  She will take ages to understand and minutes to fume up with the upshot. But distance has to be covered one way or the other. 

We were here standing at an ounce distance. Before I ever got a chance to greet her, my world was in rains and her face appeared foggy, I took a minute to understand the happening s of the moment.

Before we started our last dialogue, I was wondering the truth she had in her imagination:

“This my dear! Will never come again. The faces, the expressions, this shine in my cloth, assuredness in you, assuages of everything in nature, won’t come ever again. We may have good or bad or even ugly ones but this won’t come again”

You were right … you were right to the core but before you leave I wish you put a balm on the ridden heart or crash my memory right side, left side, every side .I won’t you to be remembered by the first day only. 

But I saw my eyes drooping down and her image was in vague. She had locks, curled up over the face and as I wanted to see if they hold grace to give life back to my lifeless hand, she beckoned me to be seated. 

I sat as if assembling every part within each other, she was quiet .Her quietness kills me and her face was slightly swollen as well. And weird cuts on the hand as if she has been cutting every unused memory from the broken farmyard.  She had dust over the shoulders and nearby.

Where she left her neatness?

But this is not the time to think about other details; we need to see each other by face so we jumbled up with the sights of each other. My sight was static, hers was dynamic probably because she is weak and shyness her essence that kept me closer for all those years.

This was our last dialogue; we said nothing, we saw nothing as we surrendered everything already. All we saw were moments compressed within hands lock .This was our last attempt to hold it, last desire to save it.

This was the most organic, most profound, betrothal our last dialogue.

As i wrote this fiction, i wanted it to have sad endings but this music kept my pen rolling in the other direction: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KSMG8mCzN8 

This post is dedicated to happily married couples, hurdles are the only trick to keep you two closer. 
Wish you all a lovely life.

~ A B C of My Life ~

Faith:

Dear very hard-to-plunge into,

Come to me at a desirable speed, slowly but steadily infuse into my body and soul and circulate through the veins. Appear as the most crumbled pieces of bread once spread, eaten up by the most starving being. Without the fear of losing anything, dauntless, very stern, looking into eyes so daring and then felicity gushing into wind making me so strong that I don’t bother the nescience created by the dust. Don’t let my eyes flap. Help me see it through you, by you, just YOU!

Life:

Dear inscrutable Companion,

Breathe in- breathe out … ahhh you are here. Stay here till my knees can run after you.

Stay here till I can feel the happiness sitting by the sea shore, stay here till I can stand at the top roof of my dreamers valley that I will secretly pronounce in the village side to have a view of the most lofty element of nature, the sun.

Stay here till I can make my kids count the starts and teach the prophecy behind them.

Stay here till I can sense the smell of freshly blossomed flower by closing eyes and losing myself into the rhythm to feel divinity behind.

Stay here till I can hear the chirping birds, waking me up every day by sitting on the edge of my window.

Stay here till I am narrated as a fallacy for moon. Of course with all odds and evens.

Life with your beautiful colors and your gruesome behavior you drive me on.

Disappointment:

Not So Dear leave-us- alone,

You appear as the most excruciating pain a patient suffers. You are the passing noise that squeezes my heart and leaves me, when you are far away from the sight and a feeling it’s not me, it’s not mine.

You are a feeling that a person has, after hearing the word spoken casted a dagger, leaving a person as if man without the senses, wish without a pray, cry without a soul.

I so very want to crush you but you appear as the person who sat by the sea to view the intimacy of water and moon but you out of your jealousy hash the very desire, leaving him dumbstruck for quite some time.

Love:

Dear I secretly love you for being this word, for being here in the world.

Come to me so succinctly, so secretly that even the passing wind revolves around us to escort from the world. So beautifully as if acquiring the world out of life. So dramatically as if heart beat goes up and never goes down. So peacefully as if eyes are cover of hiding all the sorrows. So rigid as if oneness is the belief. So amorphous that learning it make us spend all life.

cheers

P.S. WISH YOU ALL A LOVELY LIFE

"When Confessions Come Around, My Love Disappears"

I am normal. I lead a normal life so far and now when it couldn’t have gone anywhere else; I am living in negation.

It was one cool January morning with my hopes high and ambitions arousing the inner self somewhere at the top of everything. As I was walking, with cool breeze almost steadily passing through my ear and a leaf which is slightly brownish in color as if declared old by its family, broke contact and flew passed my eye as if fondled me! Why couldn’t have I felt something in air? A conspiracy. Suddenly it was me and a jolt and after that an endless fey.

My life is now surreal; I confess that I felt a bustled as I stood by the place, looked backward to see you; but saw a bunch with random voices.No one was you!

I liked the way you moved my life but hey will you appear hearty and upstanding ever?

That whole day I was acutely busy but every time something knocked my head and my heart moved somewhere else. Now my heart and head isn’t in my control and my fallacy goes like that I will take care of my head, will you rule my heart?, its in illusion.

When I slept smoking away all the worries of life that night, and was thinking of you that suddenly a ray of light made me galloped towards the mobile; I just thought it was you because my hypothesis says you have an ability to illuminate pitch dark to glow but I got someone anonymous quoting

‘Your Love is just near, handle it or drive away’.

You and I were sitting at the top edge of the mountain stealing the eyes of many; we could have had a look at whole civilization and me? Well my world, my globe just moves around you. I was posing, streaming things in mind to make a camouflage of words and portray in your presence your highness! But my words are suspended by your sunshine coming out of your hair and the twinkling light ring you had in your hand, how can I forgot those silky hair moving decently keeping discipline and assuredness. When I started to tell you that ‘when you smile, heaven seems few miles away’ and then suddenly you smiled meanwhile ‘I’ trying to gaze at complete curve of your lip, had to stood up by this morning alarm! Arghh...I hate it!

That morning when I drove a car, I saw many leaves coming under the tire, grossly grinded by this strong gust of my thought process and then I started to talk out loud:

‘You will come in your true composition, blind folding me by placing your hand right above my eyes; if I guessed you, you are mine, if you guessed me I am yours ’

And when next time a shadow passed by me; choked my heart, where my head played hoax; made me moved backward, and when I was to confess, my love disappeared.

Next time I won’t leave any fallacy till then give me an assurance that you will keep shining and assorting me with the fraction of your sunshine. For I would have loved to live that way to keep you secure from everyone but I am afraid, my hypothesis will make you go away one day.

Visit To A Cancer Hospital

It takes your 15min or so to make it happen:

As we happened to see the war between love and pain, suddenly there were enumerable thoughts rummaging through the mind. The grim story of anguish, misery and helplessness.

Mother who stood by stoned; looking at her 22 year age girl with hopes in her eyes as we see her and infinite thoughts that we failed to calculate and therefore will fail to convey them to you .For us there are images in our mind at mercy of our photographic memory and that’s it .While we conversed there was no feeling of deprivation, there was a hope and silence in such a noise and serenity as we see her smiling even at flat refusal on survival of her daughter.

 There were kids who knew nothing, couldn’t measure the existence of a being even and were perforated with the drips and injections that crippled the touch we so very wanted to give them right away.

Later on we witnessed that one of the girl managed to move her hand towards her caretaker or father with her forehead frowning and her voice sulking a little more in pain.

And then a father who moved her kid swinging in a ray of hope all the way towards himself and he perhaps wished to have taken all her pain and can let it melt it into his chest.

As the picture we portrayed might look grim but to be fair and honest we all feel pure and refreshed over the weekend with this trip we made to Shaukat khanaume (Pakistan biggest Cancer Hospital).

Money does matter and alms should be given but to witness It for once strengthens the believe system that god exist and there are gods people who are suffering .We are blessed and so are they because their pain will be relieved with the special gift of god that’s unforeseen to us but it makes us adamant there is someone who is running this nature and its people, their pain and their happiness.

Apart from that all feelings and emotions that one undergo Shaukat khanaume is one well established hospital  with the very sympathetic  staff and a congenial atmosphere .We  felt as if we know everyone and have met them before many  times. Adding cherry on the top; the most beautiful thing is that not a single person knows who is getting examined on his own money or on charity. May god bless all patients at Shaukat Khanuame .We Pray that they survive and survive so well to become artist, debaters ,run business as we saw them actively engrossed in their passion .With the little gifts and toys we saw them jumping expressing , smiling that alone made our day  .

If god give us power and heart to swallow and mind to witness: do pay them visit and don’t forget to share your 15 minutes or so ….