That one hour was really prestigious. The humming voices of people were insinuating through my veins and I … well I was running, cutting and probing bits and pieces that confound to what we call a memory.
That one hour taught me many things that look bizarre but they existed. They were justifying their selves, their love and affection and I was losing myself more.
In this inhibition I stood up preserved my thoughts, the place I was in, people who roam in and about and suddenly something moved through the spine like the most acidic reaction taking place in ages; it evolved and absorbed everything that was around me. I was clicking my knuckles and fingers like the Most insolent kid who wants everything, who feels dejected when hears a ‘NO’ in reply.
Suddenly someone from the hindsight came to rescue this almost breaking lullaby.
What do you want in this hour?
I had to plunge everything in this flowing river but my words made me shudder ’why am I unable to say anything’.
That one hour was full of grief since I couldn’t make up my mind or rather prioritize what I wanted. But I also lived my life in that one hour. There was an image of a person who was sitting at a rock far away from me but we could find each other vividly through the passing rays; twinkling light still made our gaze almost hazy but nonetheless they were twinkling our hearts together.
Deep down inside I knew he was smiling as my eye spun in the direction he sat; and so was he; while I was crazily doing stuff in that spot light. I knew he will capture the moment and so did he.
He had silent ways of doing things it seems but whatever that was; it was priceless…whose price only I can imagine. That time where I can ideate freckles on my face but he thought I am unimaginable; how silly; I poked myself till when you can stay in an imaginative world but it used to come sporadically so the only time where you want to be declared wrong .
Never for once he told me that I lack something instead he filled the gap like a fresh blow of air that removes perspiration on your forehead and giving a great hold as if it was especially something for you by nature or like a morning with the chirp of birds to move your eyes from tickling clock and giving another moment to relax by moving curtains of my window or maybe that’s what I perceived.
That’s how he was from nowhere to surrender. But suddenly that spot light was removed and I was somewhere else in unknown space; I scarcely could see faces I ever known; where everything I did was wrong ; where I had frowning forehead ; air passage went narrower and narrower till I felt breathing hard. The other moment I could see myself dying and I was trying to get hold of something as I was losing control; slipping that hand I knew of someone I revere. I wanted to live this life a little more.
But there is a lot more I wanted? The hour broke down; narrative of that hour was gone. I was looking at walls around me as if I missed that hour of negotiation; where I might have achieved something but may be have lost something or maybe there was a better deal in store.
I looked around everything was the same and I questioned myself which hour might bring change; might make me fear less and live more or may be vice versa. I can’t get enough of what I dreamt and hour is less to demand so I started living my life again; May be the way I wanted perhaps as long as is possible; churning bad ; dosing good; this vine however was a good deal but till when I questioned!...
'nowadays i am working on photography ; its fun like a very brave or that silent companion . I will share some as soon as i start loving them more'