Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Hour

That one hour was really prestigious. The humming voices of people were insinuating through my veins and I … well I was running, cutting and probing bits and pieces that confound to what we call a memory.

That one hour taught me many things that look bizarre but they existed. They were justifying their selves, their love and affection and I was losing myself more. 

In this inhibition I stood up preserved my thoughts, the place I was in, people who roam in and about and suddenly something moved through the spine like the most acidic reaction taking place in ages; it evolved and absorbed everything that was around me. I was clicking my knuckles and fingers like the Most insolent kid who wants everything, who feels dejected when hears a ‘NO’ in reply.

Suddenly someone from the hindsight came to rescue this almost breaking lullaby.

What do you want in this hour?

I had to plunge everything in this flowing river but my words made me shudder ’why am I unable to say anything’.

That one hour was full of grief since I couldn’t make up my mind or rather prioritize what I wanted. But I also lived my life in that one hour. There was an image of a person who was sitting at a rock far away from me but we could find each other vividly through the passing rays; twinkling light still made our gaze almost hazy but nonetheless they were twinkling our hearts together.

Deep down inside I knew he was smiling as my eye spun in the direction he sat; and so was he; while I was crazily doing stuff in that spot light. I knew he will capture the moment and so did he.

He had silent ways of doing things it seems but whatever that was; it was priceless…whose price only I can imagine. That time where I can ideate freckles on my face but he thought I am unimaginable; how silly; I poked myself till when you can stay in an imaginative world but it used to come sporadically so the only time where you want to be declared wrong .

Never for once he told me that I lack something instead he filled the gap like a fresh blow of air that removes perspiration on your forehead and giving a great hold as if it was especially something for you by nature or like a morning with the chirp of birds to move your eyes from tickling clock and giving another moment to relax by moving curtains of my window or maybe that’s what I perceived.

That’s how he was from nowhere to surrender. But suddenly that spot light was removed and I was somewhere else in unknown space; I scarcely could see faces I ever known;  where everything I did was wrong ; where I had frowning forehead ; air passage went narrower and narrower till I felt breathing hard. The other moment I could see myself dying and I was trying to get hold of something as I was losing control; slipping that hand I knew of someone I revere. I wanted to live this life a little more.

But there is a lot more I wanted? The hour broke down; narrative of that hour was gone. I was looking at walls around me as if I missed that hour of negotiation; where I might have achieved something but may be have lost something or maybe there was a better deal in store.

I looked around everything was the same and I questioned myself which hour might bring change; might make me fear less and live more or may be vice versa. I can’t get enough of what I dreamt and hour is less to demand so I started living my life again; May be the way I wanted perhaps as long as is possible; churning bad ; dosing good; this vine however was a good deal but till when I questioned!...

'nowadays i am working on photography ; its fun like a very brave or that silent companion . I will share some as soon as i start loving them more'

Take Care.


  1. The suspense created by our LORD is more than us....and our forbearance...however, somehow we have to go through it...like it or not....you have to bear that suspense....

  2. Humaira,

    Guilty of not visiting for so long. Read all pending posts. Please convey my sincere condolences to your friend. May God bless the departed soul with eternal peace and strength to his family to bear the loss. She had been so brave. Faith is what can move mountains. Belated Many Many Happy Returns of the Day. One should not wait for The Hour to do wonders but should continue with efforts as per own conscience to achieve what one wishes to. Good photograph, hope to see more.

    Take care