-- Here i am lost in the ashes of time but who wants tomorrow --

We had this resilient chemistry for each other but still few hiccups and unwanted storms are part and parcel of life. It was then something gruesome occurred between him and unknown fallacies and everything was tarnished between us. It is said that if man has guts to be a man and he was grown under his own build circumstances he can keep everything intact but many of them may not. Our lucky charm was warm sunshine and a cup of coffee in chilled winters.

So we both decided to meet up at the corner coffee shop known for young couples meet up and departure too. And I was counting steps; heading towards it; hoping it is not what all the particles in air beckoning it to be.

We had some words and some more words; unrealistic attacks and realistic jitters were accompanied by his demarcated face and I kept on finding some peace in this whole region; something which is known to me.

I remember he was the most envious man in the crowd because if we stood in a group he is the outside peeper and he became luckiest when he had me around but what happened last is totally a piece of note nobody every wrote or read. Here is the last dialogue:

Eshta: So how are you?

Billi   : I want to tell you that you must go on with your life because I don’t deserve you…I … I just want to tell you that all these hard and harsh words are for your own good. And if it was possible I would gather all the happiness of the world and put in your lap but for now I must go.

Eshta: Will you stop this rattling and useless word? (Cutting him through) How on earth I can put this in your beautiful brain that it is not true. You are a rose that grows one a million and I have utmost respect for you that wouldn’t diminish nor haze ever. With you I smile; without you I get sad and then this nervousness makes me a complete fanatic.

(Billi interrupted without my thoughtfulness ever on aired and made way to his goddamn ears.)

Billi: Estha you must understand; I have a very tough situation to deal with at home; I would leave everything and will go. I need peace and only in that can find my lost strength.

Eshta: Even if it requires abandoning me and watching me go aloof of everything around. Atleast tell me what marks your strength to be so low. You are giving up on nothing

Billi : After a pause yes it is like that… sometimes every word that come out of my mouth would sound unjust ; you will think I am weak and I would rather flew to some other region before I hear this . Truth is that situation is getting out of control. It’s ending up between choosing and it has startled my life too…

Eshta: Are you in your senses. We had a trust factor with each other at least I deserve little explanation on this?

( Billi: Complete silence as if he was wishing that storm to abate so that he can make his way through, as if all he knew was to leave and unable this environment and people to take 360 degree turn in a second)

Estha : You are making me stern, a shocked being , you are making me a useless piece of cloth thrown in dejection and I won’t forgive you on this

Billi: I hope you will take care of yourself more than anything; more than anyone being cared for ever … I must go …

Estha:  And I would call you a weak person and this must stung you all your life no matter where you go …

And she stood there hoping he would look back like he never missed being trapped in her charms but this time as if he was not he and he had appeared in some deluded appearance for secretively teasing her but none of the assumption was true.

Estha had eyes full of questions and remarks in which tears somehow were embedded and every tear was tagged with a lot of thoughts and question. She knew above all science; wisdom and circumstances; miracles do happen; so she carried herself and moved towards a mosque. She sat there hoping that her voice will be heard this time. She released herself of all abduction and unjust happenings; she knew this time he will hear, she stood up and walked into warm sunshine. She knew a day would come when she will get all the answers till then she will assuage her grief she would live; to live up for that one day.