'Our Downfall'

‘This is the moment of life. If you ask me, we can relive it millions of time but the void that has been created cannot be refilled that easily. Will you wait for time to fill it up or should we just sit by each other, watching over and over again into the eyes; to make up for the lost sight. Should we develop an understanding of our downfall and march towards the land of thirst and hunger to see if we are able to rebuild it, or let’s walk around the globe so that distance may round up to explicate theory of displacement.

And if even then, a thought never crossed our mind, we will spill a magic on our soul and place the empty skin in the museum to watch people making amazements about us. While free our spirits to study the principles of riots created by misunderstandings and emotional fluctuation.

We will be rhetorical; a thousand assumptions will be made about us. Nobody would care what devastating moment it was that created a real turmoil, our dates won’t ever match up with that of history, it is engraved somewhere within the spirit and spirit which is not here.

May be then, just maybe then we will understand the iota of living with each other and trusting each other with our lives. May be then we will spend rest of our lives with a regret to repent of the word we deteriorated and misused. May be then we will have wings to fly catch up with our broken self.

Imagine how hard it would be, to stand up by your side and never to be seen. Imagine how hard it would be to see you watching up the beautiful sight and not to feel.

I know you will suffer more than I will. I know you, and I know you that’s why I am upset about you. I know you that’s why I am sad. I will regret the moment of when I claimed to know you, when I made an effort to know you.

I don’t know what you will be feeling but you will feel as if you are half eaten by the trauma and rest half is ready to be eaten. So as usual betraying all the norms I will move towards you to tell you that I am okay! I will come back to you as rest of the world just evaporated into another land. I will come back to you to see if it is any more a peaceful place to be in ’

It won’t be too late it never is, but the void that has been created is a real downfall!!!

~ A B C of My Life ~

Faith:

Dear very hard-to-plunge into,

Come to me at a desirable speed, slowly but steadily infuse into my body and soul and circulate through the veins. Appear as the most crumbled pieces of bread once spread, eaten up by the most starving being. Without the fear of losing anything, dauntless, very stern, looking into eyes so daring and then felicity gushing into wind making me so strong that I don’t bother the nescience created by the dust. Don’t let my eyes flap. Help me see it through you, by you, just YOU!

Life:

Dear inscrutable Companion,

Breathe in- breathe out … ahhh you are here. Stay here till my knees can run after you.

Stay here till I can feel the happiness sitting by the sea shore, stay here till I can stand at the top roof of my dreamers valley that I will secretly pronounce in the village side to have a view of the most lofty element of nature, the sun.

Stay here till I can make my kids count the starts and teach the prophecy behind them.

Stay here till I can sense the smell of freshly blossomed flower by closing eyes and losing myself into the rhythm to feel divinity behind.

Stay here till I can hear the chirping birds, waking me up every day by sitting on the edge of my window.

Stay here till I am narrated as a fallacy for moon. Of course with all odds and evens.

Life with your beautiful colors and your gruesome behavior you drive me on.

Disappointment:

Not So Dear leave-us- alone,

You appear as the most excruciating pain a patient suffers. You are the passing noise that squeezes my heart and leaves me, when you are far away from the sight and a feeling it’s not me, it’s not mine.

You are a feeling that a person has, after hearing the word spoken casted a dagger, leaving a person as if man without the senses, wish without a pray, cry without a soul.

I so very want to crush you but you appear as the person who sat by the sea to view the intimacy of water and moon but you out of your jealousy hash the very desire, leaving him dumbstruck for quite some time.

Love:

Dear I secretly love you for being this word, for being here in the world.

Come to me so succinctly, so secretly that even the passing wind revolves around us to escort from the world. So beautifully as if acquiring the world out of life. So dramatically as if heart beat goes up and never goes down. So peacefully as if eyes are cover of hiding all the sorrows. So rigid as if oneness is the belief. So amorphous that learning it make us spend all life.

cheers

P.S. WISH YOU ALL A LOVELY LIFE

< Entitled To No-One>

On this cool breezy night, I am yearning to flow within whirlpool that hasn’t got any aggression as yet---- that was where we met.

The luck, destiny whatever was put together to bring us here is a sheer sense of being with you. 

I was kind of ironic… you were abysmal on spot. I might have sound extremely careless, you every time wrapped up the clichés of being profound. 

This time breeze is still blowing but missing is the urge to dart you here. I want to be non subjective,

Indistinguishable and so malleable that even rust comes over as soon as I go in the hinge. 

I want to be hidden in bewilderment, want to be moving on a never intercepting path.

I want a cover, a permissible shelter.

I want to snatch myself from every eye, my name, my presence and everything that ever relates me should be made in conspicuous.

Just for a day I want to be invisible.

I want to rebuild every notion, alone I come-- solitary I go; is the feeling that makes me hollow.

And when I was flying that high I said something repeatedly, unveiling the enigma, a mind suffers.

I am in no wonders or word; I am in fields nor in grounds----nor in riches or in impounds.

I am a freed soul with such a baggage –help me finding an astute way.

Embed the sense of purity a child has, a love of mother, a history of a soldier, a world of wisdom, penetration seldom.

A desire unwritten---!!!

~ Where World Awaits Creativity ~

Dear All,

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~ She is the Sunshine ~

Her pink rosy cheeks and flawless drowning skin, enchanting the world with the courageous eyes. She fells down and gets up with enormous power of love, bestowed upon her and as she looks at the future she is bemused.

She is magical and obliterate the insane acts.

Destination is the cultivation of past and every next moment she wants to fail this analogy; someone predicted for her life. She wants ease and peace with her self. She wants them to be at her side.  She dislikes giving up but she is giving up at every next trotted step taken. She has been sacrificing all her life. 

She is a treasure hunt, a treasure within and outbound of energies. That comes up with good and bad. Sad and happy, bitter and sweet but she forgives. She has learnt to forgive the withered. 

She churns out the best every day and spread it in the glory of that rosy garden of her life; she sits down by the flower, knits it every day with so much delicacy and attraction.

Every one gazing upon her wants to be the victim to suffer for ones but she smiles with the concentration of her bounty.

She is fragile and needs to be handled with care, she trembles of this brassy voice.  She understands and tries to find best answer within the terrain of emotional thrust. It comes up; she picks that, and then sank within to find the best. She comes up again and brings the best jewl of the world. She responds, she replicates, make peace with her.

She has a depth, don’t gush with her. She is behind your success. Make her feel special. She is the color of tomorrow, canvas of presence and camouflage of your goofs. 

Take her to the moon; forget the scars enjoy the light she has within the turbulence.

She is ethereal.

~dedicated to women out there!~

-- Sometimes i hit hard, fell down and Smile --

Sometimes I am no one, sometimes I am the nucleus.

Sometimes I forget to take a sip of coffee,

Sometimes I drop it all on my way.

Sometimes you come running towards me, leaving all the baggage behind...

Sometimes I am ruined and my negligence is refined.

Sometimes I lost moisture, sometimes defined

I cry, I laugh, I drop, I live, I relive

I am a human.

Sometimes I am an angel, sometimes a sinner

Sometimes I am a sinner, igniting all the fuss behind

Sometimes I am fearless, sometimes acute

Sometimes I am the crudest material being put in your lap

Sometimes I am …

Sometimes I am aware, sometimes I am you

Sometimes I am drowning

Catch me if when I fall.

~Once Upon A Time~

My bettered words, your entire presence! My incomplete story, your entire absence!

Those dim lights that leaves vague, my everything and me.

I belong to a class of family whose ultimate dream is to be a part of army, for this thing still remains a question mark whether it’s a love for my country or a secure position that my caretakers see me earning. We dream about it our entire child hood, when a pencil was half broken to be shared by others, when we had no sharpeners and only was a knife cutting edge. 

I gracefully entered into the world of rules and regulations, and leaving all disgrace and humility behind. I wiped out the fears of entering into the world of dominions and conventions.

All my life that I struggled to carve out the best feature of living, I heard people thinking highly of us as I have seen it with my eyes as well. It was a hard job having such a baggage, nurturing dreams of many and yet live and survive. I have seen my life coming at an end, when I thought of leaving this hardship to become a part of army. Leave this punctuality and love and prayers, go back to my sluggish world, knitting life of my own but then something stopped me, stabbed me so hard as if I committed a sin knowingly.

Someone stood pass by me teaching me the treacheries and treason of gone, I stood by myself again to find peace in known and leaving to run after an unknown.

After I completed my initial training and returned to my village, I was married to a beautiful girl whose presence was so agile, as she passed by me, leaving my senses numb, corroding my very presence and she in all curtains of decency and shyness revolves around my world of known beauty. 

Right after someone added colors to my life I was posted to siachen valley. I was, for the first time not excited as I was leaving my life behind. I reprimanded, my enthusiasm felt belittle, I tried to run away, rebel orders but something knitted my knot with the love of my country so over tightly  that I couldn’t run away any more . I had to go to save a part of us, lambast the one who looked at it.

When I reached there in a valley which is just covered by a silence and solitude that sees everything blindly, yet my sight came back to me with a complete black out. It’s all homogeneous, only voice is yours which moves near the periphery, come backs to you solitary.

I sat by a large stone with the folk music, playing at the back that goes like that ‘throw a petal at me, wake me up, o beautiful!’  As I opened letter from my wife, intimating me about a baby birth while the music plays ‘

(Buffalo raised her head while eating, you could have told me something for not coming to my invitation’), happiness engulfed me, tear rolled down on my cheeks but the coolness around, dried my emotions and I was looking for a warmth.

Suddenly I heard and saw ton of splashes in the snow, as if some bees are trying to make a bore in the ground. I dropped the letter, got hold of my gun and without thinking about my life in making; I opened all nozzles, projected and unloaded everything I had. After a minute I was lying on the ground, this was my first and it took me a while to see myself out of this craziness. A pat at my back made me stand up, that night was a horrible one; what if I was dead shot, I won’t be able to see my son forever, my story will be wrapped up just now! Why because I chose to be a savior and left my family in dismay by choice, who will take care of them, my son won’t understand till he is sane that why he missed my love. That night was a heavy toll but I survived, the only human instinct I knew. I couldn’t even savour all I did, a heroic fight.

On account of my bravery, I was posted at the most sensitive area where voices are thrashed and only voice that rules is of a bullet that inhale all silence of the world and breaks it so haphazardly.

I wrote a last letter: 

“My dear first love! Life has been kind and justified if you see it through my eyes. As for you, your challenge is few miles away, will be reaching you soon. I can’t make you wear gajras(flowery bands) that you love, wear it every day or when you feel like but do it with my name. Treat yourself well and make our kid replace my existence if I don’t get back to you. My story may end right here but yours is more ostensible. We need to choose at every step and I chose my life over you. Not because I am greedy but because I want every one respect you and I chose to earn it that way. I promise to meet you there, where nothing would make us part, that world would be ours.

Only yours,

Your last love” 

I took my gun and when I was about to trigger, all faces came in front of me, some stopping me , some pushing me. I closed my eyes and clicked for the last time. It was hard but it’s inevitable to quit!